I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I enjoy the company of your penis
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
