in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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