You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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