we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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