member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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