I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
