it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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