its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
