it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
