my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Barsexuality is the new black.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
