just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize