im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
