For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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