this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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