i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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