i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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