i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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