What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
