So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
