Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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