Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She even gives head with a lisp.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
