The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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