Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
