fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
