And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
