ugly people sure do ruin things
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
