If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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