just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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