Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
