It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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