i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My dick has a subreddit
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
