Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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