well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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