Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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