I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
