Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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