There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
