Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
