From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
