this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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