He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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