She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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