Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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