So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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