Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
