How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
