thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize