I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
