I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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