so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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