The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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