Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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