I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
