Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
