It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
