Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
