3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
