Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
