I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
