please come you make the beer taste better
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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