I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
